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Ways to understand if you’re being gaslight, and how to deal with it.

The act of undermining another person’s reality by denying facts, their surroundings, or their feelings is referred to as “to gaslight.” Targets of gaslighting are persuaded to rebel against their own reasoning, feelings, and core identity.
Here are ways to know and how to deal with it.

The tactic is a way to regain control of the relationship in the present moment, to end the fight, to relieve some anxiety, and to feel “in charge” once more. It’s a technique for someone to divert blame and tear down someone else while keeping the other person hooked, especially if what they’re hooked on is the frantic need to please someone else or prove that person wrong.

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The gaslighter may be completely unaware that he is engaging in any kind of strategic or manipulative behavior. He may lack self-awareness and mistakenly believe he is expressing himself directly, or he may be prone to unflinching honesty, telling it like it is.

If any of the items on the list ring true for you, you may be in a gaslighting relationship and need to investigate further.

  • “Am I overly sensitive?” you wonder. Several times a day
    In the partnership, you frequently feel befuddled and even insane.
    You’re constantly apologizing.
    You’re baffled as to why you’re not happier.
    You’re constantly making excuses for your partner’s actions.
    You’re aware that something is wrong, but you’re not sure what it is.
    To prevent snubs and reality shifts, you start lying.
    Simple decisions are difficult for you.
    You’re not sure if you’re good enough.

Here are simple ways to deal with gaslighting.

  • Visualize yourself without the relationship or continuing it at a much greater distance as a mental exercise to foster a mentality adjustment. Importantly, even if the vision makes you feel anxious, try to see it in a good way. Consider how you will feel in the future when you have your own reality, social support, and integrity.
  • Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions. Accept and admit that your feelings are normal. I recommend keeping note of your emotions. Consider using the Mood Meter app. It’s a simple way to learn about your emotions and track your patterns, allowing you to learn what triggers your feelings and providing helpful strategies to change your moods.
  • Give yourself permission to give up something. Part of what makes leaving a gaslighting relationship unpleasant and difficult is that the gaslighter could be the one “someone” you have committed to, such as your best friend, mother, sister, or brother. It’s fine to walk away from toxicity, no matter where it comes from.

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