“MARRIED BUT TIED”
“My husband seeks his mom’s approval before he makes decisions”
“My husband can spend all he has for the mum at the expense of mine”.
“My husband wishes his mum would always be available to cook for him.”
“My husband chased me out of the house “because of his mum”.
” My wife obeys her Dad more than me”
” My wife will not carry out my instructions until she gets approval from her mum”
” She shares our confidential discussions with her mum”
These are some of the situations in some homes, and here are the antidote to it.
We will discuss on both sides.
Husband…
Marriage is an institution that should stand on its own.
When God says a man should leave and cleave to the wife, it is an express commandment.
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
For the man to cleave to the wife,he needs to prioritize his family. The wife is his help meet and no other woman, not even his mother, can occupy that role.
Also;
A man has to leave completely because he has to assume a new role of leadership. Therefore, he has to be in charge. A woman doesn’t leave, because she is transferred from one authority (the father) to another authority (the husband).
Most women pray for a man like their father, in other words, any man that will assume the new authority over them should lead like their father in their life.
Just like a transition to a new government, the “new” authority can either influence them positively or negatively.
When this new authority (the husband) fails to lead as he ought to, it becomes an issue to the wife.
More So;
A man who is married but still tied to his mother’s apron may not have a peaceful home because his wife will not be comfortable with it.
It is true that we can’t neglect our families because of marriage, but there is a need to understand that they now have limits to how they interfere in our homes.
A man is supposed to lead the home alongside the wife, not the mother. Indeed he can seek counsel from her mother but not to allow her control his home
Wife;
God placed the husband as the head of the wife; as a leader he should be respected. God didn’t place the wife’s parents as the head, therefore when a wife carries out the instructions of her parents against that of the husband, she is creating problems in her home.
A wife that is married but still tied to her parents, will soon go back and stay with them.
It is important for wives to understand and obey the hierarchy of marriage. This will help them have peaceful homes, and rest of mind.
Also;
The continuous interference of both parents may break the home or frustrate those involved.
In order to enjoy peace;
• The husband and wife should give limits to their parents’ influence in their home and family matters.
• They should understand they are now mature and responsible to their own family therefore they are no longer tied to their parents’ apron anymore.
• The husband should leave and cleave to his wife completely.
• The wife should submit and obey selflessly.
• They should learn to keep confidential matters away from their parents.
In Addition
To the wife of a “mama’s boy” …
It is indeed not easy living in your house and feeling like a second wife or “outsider”.
Your mother in law interference may have caused problems between you and your husband. It may have made you hate her or feel devastated.
In this situation you need to pray for wisdom because your husband is caught between two important women in his life. If you overreact, you may be termed as a bad wife who doesn’t love her mother-in-law. Also, learn to respect her and forgive her excesses.
The Lord is your muscle!
Husband, be the leader of your home as God has made you. Do not allow your parents to control you, you are now a man not a “mama’s boy”. Remember, you are the head, lead your family rightly and may The Lord lead you through.